(Cont'd)

A proven way of garnering loyalty and support from others that I’m sure you’ve heard about is the regular expression of appreciation for a job well done or acknowledgement of a much-admired personal character trait. Very often, however, as we rush around madly attempting to keep all of our plates spinning, all of our balls in the air, we forget to say, “thank you”. We readily point out mistakes others make so they can quickly get corrected, but less often are we as specific with the things that have been well done.

I remember very vividly, a conversation I had several years ago with an employee of a rapidly growing, fast moving company in which I served as Sr. Director of HR. I didn’t know this employee very well, but she set up an appointment with me to talk about her relationship with her boss. Turns out, she was very bitter and upset with the boss. In the meeting, she ranted and raved about all the horrible things her boss had done to her. Between raves, I asked her questions to clarify her concerns, assumptions, beliefs and desires regarding the situation she felt trapped in.

Forty-five minutes into the conversation, in response to a simple question about what she wanted, still fuming, she slammed her fist onto the table and screamed “I JUST WANT HER TO SAY ‘THANK YOU’!” At that point her body fell into a slump, and in almost a whisper, a bit surprised, she repeated, “That’s it. I just want her to say ‘thank you’. I’m SO sorry for taking up so much of your time. That’s really all I need.”

I explained that no apology was necessary. I was there to help her get through all that muck so she could figure out exactly what was missing. We spent the next couple of minutes formulating how she could ask for what she wanted and she walked out relaxed, empowered, confident and ready to return to work. (This conversation was a significant for me as well as it later played a central role in my decision to become a coach, but I digress.)

Back to the connection between Thanksgiving and leadership…express gratitude and be thankful for the people around you. You have no idea the impact a simple ‘thank you’ can have.