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Many
of you who have heard me speak or have been receiving
this e-zine for a while may be familiar with the
4-step transformation process I use:
Step
1 – Crystallize and articulate the
end goal or vision.
Step 2 – Assess where you
are in relation to the vision
Step 3 – Create and commit to action
steps to move you toward your goal
Step 4 – Create structures
for accountability to ensure forward progress
continues
A couple of the
assessment tools I use with clients for Step 2
are the Keirsey Temperament Sorter and its companion,
the Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator (MBTI).
MBTI defines the
extraversion-introversion scale as one of its
components and I am an inveterate introvert. In
the workshop I led on Monday, I recalled how entirely
petrified I used to be about speaking in public.
(You probably already know that according to most
research, speaking in public is the #1 fear, ahead
even of dying.)
As a little girl,
I was so afraid of being in front of people that
I’d get nauseous before my piano recitals
during which I never even had to open my mouth!
My senior year
in high school, I had to give a campaign speech
for Class Vice-President (which I won by the way.
Who could resist, “What
the world needs now is ”and
“Everybody needs”,
and “ makes
the world go round”?) I was petrified
however, at the thought of standing before my
classmates and asking them to do something for
me - vote. And as I recall, while the speech was
decent, my delivery was dreadful!
Even well into
my work career, I continued having a hard time
speaking up. In team meetings, I’d come
up with what I thought was a good idea, then privately
analyze, polish, punch holes in, buff, rebuff,
anticipate objections to and refine my idea. Inevitably,
just before that ‘creative’ process
was complete, someone would utter my 4-drafts-earlier
version to which the crowd would exclaim “That’s
a great idea!” and my potential contribution
to the group would be dead in the water –again.
I was frustrated
yet driven. I desperately wanted to overcome this
disability. I realized that to achieve the career
goals I had, I’d have to master this fear
and get my ideas out into the open. I kept putting
myself in situations that demanded more of me
than my personality was inclined to give: more
than my comfort zone was willing to tolerate.
As a result, my experience of what was comfortable
began to stretch beyond recognition.
Anyway, back to
Monday’s workshop, I realized as I was sharing
with the attendees about my life-long reticence
of speaking up - putting my ideas on loudspeaker,
just how far I’ve come. I share this with
you to say, “Never give up!”
If there is something
you want, keep at it. My new experience of ‘comfort’
did not arrive overnight and yours probably won’t
either. It’s important however, to periodically
to take a moment to reflect on the progress you’ve
made over your life time.
We often get so
caught up in the routine day-to-day drills that
living can become. Even avid, forward-looking
goal setters and achievers, often fail to take
that periodic retrospective view that will allow
us to notice, appreciate and relish in our accomplishments.
So, here’s
my coaching challenge to you. Right now, take
at least 30 seconds (OK - it’s only 30 seconds.
I promise you, you can spare the time). Take 30
seconds and bring to mind one thing you have changed
about yourself or your life that you are happy
about and celebrate your progress with a virtual
pat on the back and BIG smile.
Go ahead - you deserve it!
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